Too many should's!
We all have that inner voice that is trying to keep us on track in life. It is the voice that tells us how we “should” be doing things, that we are not doing enough, or that comments on our experience. On the one hand, while this voice is trying to help or motivate us, the way it attempts to do this is often demoralizing. So what starts out as an attempt to support ends up creating a sense of deficiency and feeling bad about oneself, resulting in just the opposite. This can be a very painful cycle to be in if you don’t understand the effect that voice is having on you. It can be quite seductive in the ways it judges your behaviors and constantly monitors how good or bad you are in the name of "helping" you. I have heard many people express fear that if they stop listening to that voice they won’t ever get anything done or won’t know how to function well. I have seen time and time again that when one can recognize the harmful effects of that voice and begin to disengage from its judgments and commentary, it actually frees up a lot of energy that can be used to support your life and your goals with a more positive sense of self esteem. Lack of self esteem is already a big enough limitation for people already, and an inner voice that calls one’s worth into question for the purpose of making you a better person is certainly something that warrants investigation!